THE PUTRID SHIT THAT IS NETFLIX'S DEATH NOTE |NETFLIX'S DEATH NOTE REVIEW|


Intro:

Now, I know….I know you guys are expecting me to come in rip this steaming hot piece of bubbly shit that just came out of my dog’s rectum to pieces and you know what, that’s EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL I’M GOING TO DO!

Who wrote this? Why was this shot? Why was this develop? Someone at Netflix is going to have to square up with any anime god fearing fan and give us an explanation for this crock of shit film that was pressed out of two dusty ass butt cheeks and dare make claim that it was based on or inspired by the greatness that is the Death note series.

Did they even read the manga? Did they watch the anime that literally has a home on their platform? The only person I can say clearly made an attempt here is the man who played L, Lakeith Stanfield. He’s the only one in the entire film outside of maybe the father of Light and Ryuuk himself that could be taken seriously as one of these characters.

Mind you, this is coming from a girl who was looking forward to seeing Asian American actors take on these roles but we will get to that later. Clearly this hot pile manure is meant to take place in America, specifically Seattle.

Even with such a simple change, this isn’t what annoyed me. Oh no no no no no. There were grievances much worse the longer the film sucked up my wifi connection. Get your own personal Death Notes ready to avenge the franchise because this is my review of Netflix’s take on Death Note.

Overview/Story:

We’ll keep this brief since Netflix barely stayed on track with the actual storyline of this series. We tag along with Light after this mysterious book known only as the Deathnote drops from the heavens with a bonus prize in the death god Ryuuk. As Light begins to learn that as long as he as the name and face of a person, any name he puts in the book with a rather twisted one way ticket to the arms of the grim reaper will come to past. Light’s first target is of course the man who killed his mother, but not long after telling his love interest Mia, what the book can do, he starts to go on a relentless killing spree of crooks and criminals in his surrounding areas.

Unsurprisingly this of course gets the attention of the local police department, where of course, his father works. With the deaths having a consistent pattern it is not long before L is introduced. L, one of the very few things in the film that even seem reminiscent of the anime, of course challenges Light who is now going by the alias of Kira, to kill him on live television. When this doesn’t happen, L starts to put two and two together that without a face or a name Kira is mostly powerless. L continues to make chess moves by having every in the department followed or checked up on, and of course that includes Light, the son of the police chief. With all the heat coming down him after killing over four hundred people, Light decides to give the Deathnote a break until things cool off.

Things however do not go as planned after his father makes a bold statement to Kira, showing his face on national television daring him to kill him. Mia is more than willing however Light is not. The rift causes a short separation of the pair and in that time Ryuuk tells Light to leave the book along for seven days so he can find it a new master, but Light of course is not too keen on the idea.

Not long after this exchange L confronts Light telling him that he knows he is Kira but has yet to figure out how exactly he kills people. Where he does draw the line though, is when Light tries to explain that their goals are the same. L boldly removes his masks and declares their methods are different and there is no blood on his hands.

We can skip pretty much everything that comes after this as this is the part where I constantly fell asleep and when I did actually stomach it, it really didn’t bring forth anything to the plot. However, in the final act of Netflix’s DeathNote, Light uses the deathnote to control Watari, the guardian and caretaker of L, in an attempt to learn his real identity so he can off him. Watari dies after his page is ripped from the death note ensuring that Light could not save him after his control was relinquished. He soon finds out that Mia has betrayed him and wrote his name in the deathnote herself, hoping to obtain the mystical item for herself.

After the police arrive at the dance where all this occurs and L gets word of Watari’s death, a chase ensues between the two. Light is able to give him the slip and meets Mia at the ferris wheel after they previously agreed during their argument earlier over her selfish desires. Light exclaims to her that he wrote her name in the Deathnote but she would only die if she actually took it. Suddenly the ferris wheel breaks, Mia falls and dies instantly while Light lands in nearby water.

Light ends up in a coma after the fall and it is shown that an unknown individual picks up the deathnote after it washes up on shore after the previous altercation. Another individual brings the deathnote back to Light while he’s in the hospital and leaves it with him. In an impossible and impractical way, Light isn’t really in a coma and is able to plan all these ridiculous batman level contingency plans to the point where Light was never in any real danger. ……yeah.

The show ends with L finding a piece of the deathnote in Mia’s hospital room and looks down at the page as if he’s going to write a name and it all suddenly fades after Ryuk can be spotted in the shadows laughing. Hardy…har.har.

Strengths:

The few that should be mentioned are from the actors who actually took the time to study the character they were meant to embody. William Dafoe played a wonderfully creepy Ryuk that I was really able to appreciate. If there was a role he was born with the face to inspire, it definitely would’ve been this particular death god. His performance breathed life into the character that most of us saw in an animated form and I would say he did him justice.

Another character that was surprisingly well portrayed was L. Lakeith Stanfield clearly at the very least watched the anime to fully understand L as a character even all the way down to his small ticks. Much of the mannerism seen in the anime Lakeith brought to the small screen and even got the speech pattern correct. He was not what I initially imagined what L would look like in an live action adaption but I do think his performance was one of the most believable. I didn’t feel like not one time watching this that he wasn’t L.

Honestly, these two characters with Light’s father being an honorable mention are some of the only positive things I can think of about this new adaptation.

Weaknesses:

Oooh its time to get juicy! There were so many problems I lost count. There were so many problems I didn’t even take notes on this film and I take notes for EVERY review I do. I just knew deep in my heart that the issues in this film would haunt me long enough to write this scathing review of this garbage that appeared on my PS4.

The main actor, Natt Wolf, who was supposed to portray Light. Look, I will just say, you probably did the best you could do with whatever they wrote for you. I understand as an actor your working with a script and taking directions. With that being said…..WHO IN THE HELL WROTE HOW LIGHT WAS SUPPOSED TO ACT? Light was the most sissified scaredy cat in this entire film. He literally squealed the first time Ryuk shows himself to him. This is not what happened in the anime. Light is a cold and calculating character. He barely acts surprised at anything. He barely showed a shred of emotion in the show and yet in the Netflix series we’re seeing a wide assortment of emotions from this character who is supposed to have the same emotional pulse of a carcass.

Mia, sweetheart, why are you here? No, like really? You’re whole purpose was to literally screw Light and get turned on quicker than a water hose while Light killed people with the deathnote. Seriously though….why is this in this film? I just want to know? It was literally the most far left thing from the anime. I sat there just watching this like, wow, they just really needed something for her to do. She didn’t become remotely interesting until she was willing to kill his father, I’m just saying. She could’ve never been inserted in the movie and it literally wouldn’t have changed anything about how the story progressed. Light, stop saving these thots. A psycho thot at that.

The acting selection outside of a couple people was mediocre at best and just really really really made an already off the rails film even harder to watch. Why did this stray so drastically far from the anime? I understand as a writer you want to add your own flair but holy goku this was a train wreck of an adaptation. There was very little positive I could think to say about this show. The writing is tragically bad almost intolerable. Things have been added that were completely unnecessary, the important mental battles between Light and L are damn near nonexistent! The mental battle and the idea of what justice really is were things that made Deathnote such a favorite among fans! It challenges our beliefs. It makes you question god or gods. It dares asks you what is justice! To opposing forces in a game of wits not to prove which is right or wrong but almost which is effective and why.

Netflix misses this point entirely in its adaption and its almost sickening for anyone who loves the series. The casting, the setting, all of these things could be forgiven SLIGHTLY if the story was actually any good but its not. It’s one of the most disappointing adaption I have seen in my life, right up there with Dragon Ball Evolution and the thing that shall not be name (Avatar the Last Airbender….M Night Shamalamadingdong…..I hate you……tried to kill my favorite series in one fatal swoop..erm conversation for another time). I’ll stop here before I get off on a serious tangent.

Overall:

I give this movie the smoothest 2.5/10 you’ll ever see on the internet. It’s the embodiment of trash coming in at third place at one of the worst films I’ve ever seen in my twenty three years on this planet. Don’t watch it. It’s not worth your time. As a matter, of fact, make it a drinking game. You know how you do those little shot games with your friends when a film or show is so bad it literally takes alcohol for you to have a good time? This is one of those. Don’t go into this as a fan of the anime or the manga, you will be beyond disappointed. I’m done.

(PS ONLY DEATH NOTE ANIME GIFS COULD BE FOUND FOR ME TO USE ON WIX)

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